I know you think we had something special. But to me, you’re just one in a long parade of twenty-somethings willing to blow half their meager salary to live in a glorified dorm room.
Slogans For Procrastinators
Apple: Think about thinking differently.
I’m the World’s Most Dangerous Soupeteur
And my minestrone smells like vengeance.
I Insist On Drawing Lessons From An Unattended Sweet Potato
Why do its long purple tendrils reach to the sky even as it sits nestled in the dark in a wooden bowl obtained from a $1 pile at a stoop sale?
Personalities At Your Local Greenmarket
The guy who doesn’t realize they’re just actual mushrooms
New Twilight Book To Be Narrated by Someone Way Too Proud They Haven’t Read Twilight
Is That The Vampire One? will follow one man’s brave quest to let you know that he doesn’t really pay attention to pop culture.
Sorry, Chantal, But Your Theatre Friends Make Me Super Uncomfortable
I’m sure they’re really very nice people when they’re not “in character.” And, that’s not to say that there’s anything “wrong” with being “in character.” I didn’t say that, Chantal…
Everything I’m Afraid Might Happen If I Give My Five-Year-Old Son a Bubble Gun
When I kiss my son goodnight and wish him sweet dreams, he’ll respond “Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker!”
Dear Mrs. Rowling, We Regret to Inform You That You’ve Been Banned from the Wizarding World
Even your main allies, Mr. Harry Potter and Mr. Newt Scamander, disagree with your views. It’s a bad image.
Our Dystopian Future #7: Guidelines For Robots In Our Open Warehouse Environment
Guideline #4: There is no such thing as “self.”