This bike, like my life, is a glistening, upper-middle-class prison.
Dear Youths: Our Multinational Oil Company is Both Woke and Bae
Suddenly we are “old” and “embarrassing” and “exploiting the indigenous people of Ecuador.”
List: My Diary Entries As Clickbait Headlines
This ONE WEIRD TRICK Kept Me A Virgin Until Age 25
How I’ll Explain To My Son That I Wore An “I Gave Her The D” Shirt at Disney
(Just to be clear, the “D” in question is in the cursive Disney font. You know the one.)
My Love Language Is Discussing My Ailments
Since I just coughed twice, does that mean I have strep or swine flu or tuberculosis?
The Influencing Epidemic: Spot The Signs And Know The Dangers
It has ravaged communities from bougie neighborhoods in California to bougie neighborhoods in New York.
Our Dystopian Future #2: Welcome to the Future! Will Your Quality of Life Be Economy Standard or Global Life Premier?
Welcome to the year 2119, intrepid time traveler!
5 Ways to Stop Your New Kitten from Biting You
And remember, no matter what, don’t get mad at the cat. If you get mad she’ll get mad, and honestly even though she’s small, kittens are MEAN.
Wanted Ad: Someone To Hold My Hand During The Winter
Must be able to lift and carry a Christmas tree on your shoulder with your right hand, while holding my hand with your left hand.
Eulogies for Millennials: They’re Killin’ It!
He died doing what he loved: drinking sparkling water.