Sales tax holiday weekend came, and now we’re staring down a God damn Everest of tampons stockpiled in our living rooms.
We know you have questions. The short answer is “trickle-down economics.”
“I just find it so moving that she’d make such a major life change as a new short haircut and not post about it. Maybe she should be a life coach or something?”
Come on, I just need you to play the jingle and then I can die!
It was an absolute, unequivocal, and utter disaster on par with the Hindenburg, the Titanic, and the ending of Inception, which I still do not understand.
“Well look who it is, little non-believer Ricky Gervais.”
These active moves–which are totally achievable for the average person–are a great way to show off your athletic side.
I think there must be something wrong with the software or the algorithm.
“I listen to too many true crime podcasts” option: your delivery driver will walk to your residence slowly, set your order outside WITH BOTH HANDS SHOWING, and leave the premises as quickly as possible.
Admittedly a single woman probably doesn’t need her own yacht; I ought to have asked to charter someone else’s vessel instead.