I saw you gliding across the pond and I said to myself, “That’s the most beautiful swan I’ve ever seen.” I’d like to get to know you. What do you say?
FOUR EFFECTIVE TIPS FOR KILLING YOUR HOUSEPLANTS
Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels Keeping your plants alive and healthy sounds complicated. And, actually, it is. If you’re anything like me, you’ve completely given up on trying to maintain a healthy houseplant. So instead, today I’m […]
How to Survive the Carnage in Hallmark’s Christmas Village
The rumors that we plan to slaughter every townsperson who doesn’t fit into a narrow cookie-cutter mold are simply not true. While Hollyville Falls has been accused of being as straight and white as an orthodontist’s wet dream, we have a place for ALL types, from tall, gorgeous white people to average-height, gorgeous white people—even beautiful blondes.
Goodnight Gen-Xer: A Bedtime Story for the Generation That Tucked Themselves In At Night
In a twice-mortgaged townhome’s main bedroom there was a landline
How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it!
It’s that time of year again – thousands of mares and stallions are escaping their ranches run by tyrannical rodeo operators, and now they’re looking for homes.
Welcome to the NYC Landlords Alliance!
This prestigious organization was created in 1897 by our founder Admiral Finbar McGlinchy when he was rejected by the Freemasons because they didn’t accept (quote), “new money weirdos”.
Erotic Dreams I’ve Had, Unfortunately, About Ted Cruz
“So, why do you really hate Planned Parenthood?” I therapeutically ask Ted.
Guestbook Entries From A Hotel That Definitely Has A Man In The Walls
Loved our stay. Nice place. Fridge comes fully stocked. There’s a man in the walls.
Strategies for Leading Through Adversity, Assuming You are Barachiel, The Angel of Blessings
It’s normal to feel stress when confronting uncertain situations. This is no less true for celestial beings who are used to delivering God’s blessings while signaling their presence in a swirl of rose petals.
I Am a Modern, Progressive Guy, and No One Crushes Toxic Masculinity More Than I
With all this talk about toxic masculinity, I want to make it clear that I’m nothing like those guys. I’m a woke, sophisticated dude, and I crush toxic masculinity with my lavender-moisturized hands.