Our favorite tweets from our followers this week.
Funny-ish.com
Because comedy is weird.
Tinder Guy Would Rather Argue Than Fuck
“I didn’t join Tinder to get into fights with randos,” explains Graham. “I joined Tinder to get fucking plowed.”
Seltzer Education Seminar for Socially Inept Millennials
“Pamplemousse” vs. “Grapefruit”: Who, what, when, where, why?
I Should Go to a Museum
I enjoy the arts! I am a thoughtful and creative adult with a free afternoon!
GOP Implements Gun Safety by Giving Guns a Gun
Instead of restricting access to firearms, this new policy will instead require all gun owners to equip each firearm they own with a smaller gun.
Tweet Round-Up: 9/13/19
Our favorite tweets from our followers this week.
Of Course I, Your Macy’s Cashier, Will Pass Along Your Thoughts On This Coat To Michael Kors
As soon as you leave Macy’s store #4,679, I’m going to pick up the red telephone at the register that exists only as a direct line to Michael Kors and let him know your notes on his designs.
Exciting News! Your Position Has Just Been Eliminated, You Lucky Duck!
You’re never too old to learn a new skill, like how to compete for a few low-paying jobs in a market flooded with your now-former coworkers.
Blatantly Honest Train Delay Announcements
Howdy train denizens! We’re going to be stopped here for a while because our train is super on fire.