Attending my Zoom lectures is a privilege, not a right.
For Christmas, may I have the name of your PR guy?
Delude yourself into thinking that fat-shaming is a sign of love. They mean well?
Since we’ll be stuck in this nightmare scenario pandemic for the foreseeable future and you have nothing better to do, why not spend a little time with your inner child?
“I’m using boiled tarantula embryo, just the yolks, to give my cake a richer texture.”
Facebook, I am about to SNAP.
It really seems like some of your meetings could be emails.
How many flashlights have you lost due to the deathly wheels of a firetruck? Answer me that.
Pinotcide: The act of intentionally killing an entire bottle of Pinot Noir or Pinot Grigio on one’s own. Frequently a crime of passion.