Tweet tweet, motherfucker.
Category: Weird
I Insist On Drawing Lessons From An Unattended Sweet Potato
Why do its long purple tendrils reach to the sky even as it sits nestled in the dark in a wooden bowl obtained from a $1 pile at a stoop sale?
Sorry, Chantal, But Your Theatre Friends Make Me Super Uncomfortable
I’m sure they’re really very nice people when they’re not “in character.” And, that’s not to say that there’s anything “wrong” with being “in character.” I didn’t say that, Chantal…
Our Dystopian Future #7: Guidelines For Robots In Our Open Warehouse Environment
Guideline #4: There is no such thing as “self.”
What’s In Charge of Your Life: Intuition, Anxiety, or the Stubborn Demon that Possessed You? – A Quiz
Take this fun quiz to find out!
Thoughts on Finding a Seven-Foot-Tall Giant Plush Hansa Giraffe in the Mastermind Toys Online Catalogue
That would show everyone–everyone who ever said I would never amount to anything.
I Demand This Radio Request Line Play The McScrubber Brothers Carpet Cleaning Jingle
Come on, I just need you to play the jingle and then I can die!
God Checks His Voicemails
“Well look who it is, little non-believer Ricky Gervais.”
Our Dystopian Future #2: Welcome to the Future! Will Your Quality of Life Be Economy Standard or Global Life Premier?
Welcome to the year 2119, intrepid time traveler!
Eulogies for Millennials: They’re Killin’ It!
He died doing what he loved: drinking sparkling water.