Come on, I just need you to play the jingle and then I can die!
Category: Weird
God Checks His Voicemails
“Well look who it is, little non-believer Ricky Gervais.”
Our Dystopian Future #2: Welcome to the Future! Will Your Quality of Life Be Economy Standard or Global Life Premier?
Welcome to the year 2119, intrepid time traveler!
Eulogies for Millennials: They’re Killin’ It!
He died doing what he loved: drinking sparkling water.
You Know That Song, “Sweet but Psycho,” That’s Me
Sometimes, I just act like such a weird person.
Fine Dining Menu: CACOPHONY
We want your dining experience to be elegant and tasteful, like being pushed down a flight of rusty metal steps while trapped inside an industrial-design sarcophagus.
Well, I’ve Been Reincarnated As a Fly Again
I don’t like that I have six, scraggly little legs. They are too scraggly for my taste and I still haven’t figured out what to use the middle ones for.
I’m Hosting Parties at my House Again, Here is What’s Off Limits
I put a sign on it just in case.
Why Is Everyone, Like, So Obsessed With Bees?
Big whoop, you make honey.
I’m Transgender Because I Chose to be, Damnit
I was in the womb for NINE MONTHS with nothing to do. Obviously I’m going to rebel and do something just to get attention and make adults mad.