My first decade of Long Term Quarantine & Social Distancing (LTQSD) was a mighty struggle, so I thought I’d drop off some helpful tips about what you can do today.
Category: Topical
I’m the World’s Most Dangerous Soupeteur
And my minestrone smells like vengeance.
Dear Mrs. Rowling, We Regret to Inform You That You’ve Been Banned from the Wizarding World
Even your main allies, Mr. Harry Potter and Mr. Newt Scamander, disagree with your views. It’s a bad image.
Pandemic Shmandemic, Let’s Get Back to Sports!
What better way to heal than returning to sports? Sports doesn’t divide. It brings people together. Just ask a Red Sox fan and a Yankees fan — they love each other!
Umbrellas Become Increasingly Politicized
All while the White House continues to insist that, in fact, it is not raining.
CDC Finds America Full Of Fucking Idiots
“I’m just glad we can finally conclusively say once and for all that you motherfuckers are dumb and are gonna get us all killed.”
A Celebration of Life for the Late Minneapolis Target
The Target is survived by the Target Corporation, the 8th-largest retailer in the United States.
The CDC Presents: How to #StoptheSpread of COVID-19 Inside Your ICE Detention Facility!
We’ll, uh, have to circle back.
Andy From Headspace Meditates on the Coronavirus
You all just want my calming, British voice to tell you that everything is going to be OK.
Hi, I’m The COVID-19 Testing Kit, and Celebrities Are Just More Important. There, I Said It.
2020 has been my year so far, and I’m not wasting a moment.