You may be wondering, “How is that tiny fucking bird so fucking loud and so fucking early every goddamn morning?”
It’s time I take my talents to a place I can more easily pretend to be happy.
Don’t let anyone tell you there is no such thing as an overnight success!
I once made a vegan turducken, so I felt up to the challenge.
Brew a cup just to do something with your hands!
When you first come in, she might hide under the bed because she’s not used to strangers, but she’ll warm-up and be ramming your feet in no time.
I developed these tips, all taken from my own life, which will allow you to get real revenge without having to do a single crunch (You’re welcome!).
While we understand that you just got back today, we ask politely that you please read this letter to understand the current state of things in this town.
If I could describe my art in one word I’d say: Kevin.