Why up your dosage of Lexapro when you can get a plant to distract you from your all-consuming psychological turmoil?
Do you feel your friends judging you when your Senator acts out, and you’re tired of having to explain that they were like that before you got them?
I was in the womb for NINE MONTHS with nothing to do. Obviously I’m going to rebel and do something just to get attention and make adults mad.
If hired, you give us permission to use your image to promote our Diverse Corporate Identity. So we’ll expect you to smile all the time at work, in case a photo is taken of you for promotional purposes.
How far will a mother go for her daughter?
Why did you leave us, Father? Can’t you hear our screams?
There’s a limited window to reach the gays before they migrate back underground for the rest of the year.
You get to transform the life of a young person who’s maybe never even seen an initiation fee before.