In a twice-mortgaged townhome’s main bedroom there was a landline
Category: Satire
Welcome to the NYC Landlords Alliance!
This prestigious organization was created in 1897 by our founder Admiral Finbar McGlinchy when he was rejected by the Freemasons because they didn’t accept (quote), “new money weirdos”.
Erotic Dreams I’ve Had, Unfortunately, About Ted Cruz
“So, why do you really hate Planned Parenthood?” I therapeutically ask Ted.
Strategies for Leading Through Adversity, Assuming You are Barachiel, The Angel of Blessings
It’s normal to feel stress when confronting uncertain situations. This is no less true for celestial beings who are used to delivering God’s blessings while signaling their presence in a swirl of rose petals.
I Am a Modern, Progressive Guy, and No One Crushes Toxic Masculinity More Than I
With all this talk about toxic masculinity, I want to make it clear that I’m nothing like those guys. I’m a woke, sophisticated dude, and I crush toxic masculinity with my lavender-moisturized hands.
4 Behavioral Insights To Help You Ace That Serious Clown Interview
Identified for my core competency, I was placed at the bottom of a human pyramid.
An Open Letter to My Dog About His Cancelled Birthday Party
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
If Sia Can Write Music and Get Nominated for Two Golden Globes, Why Can’t I Write Hope, a Blatant Rip-Off Done WAY Better?
If an overconfident pop star’s obsessive focus on a teenage girl can produce a Golden Globe-nominated vehicle, then who’s to say I can’t do the same?
I’m Jergens Ultra Healing Lotion, Dying to Be Squeezed
It’s hard out here for a lotion bottle.
We Cannot Allow Solar Panels in This Country Because Children Might Eat Them
Think about it. Have you ever seen a kid try to eat an oil rig?