#1: Painting tasteful semi-abstract nudes
I’m completely exposed and vulnerable and, let’s face it, I’m more alone than I’ve ever been.
Do other people feel guilty when their dog looks bored or is it just me?
Remove me from your Amazon “fall buys” list. I don’t know what else to do but to tell you: Straight women, I’m not interested.
With all this talk about toxic masculinity, I want to make it clear that I’m nothing like those guys. I’m a woke, sophisticated dude, and I crush toxic masculinity with my lavender-moisturized hands.
You just need to think outside the box.
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
Delude yourself into thinking that fat-shaming is a sign of love. They mean well?
Odds are engineered based on information heard through the thin walls and air vents of my unit during the previous night’s argument.
Tweet tweet, motherfucker.