#1: Painting tasteful semi-abstract nudes
You Are 26 Minutes Late And I Am Scarred For Life
I’m completely exposed and vulnerable and, let’s face it, I’m more alone than I’ve ever been.
10 Worries I Have While Biting My Nails
Do other people feel guilty when their dog looks bored or is it just me?
Dear Straight Women, I’m that Flannel Shirt You’re Thinking About Buying and I’m Here to Tell You that I’m not Interested
Remove me from your Amazon “fall buys” list. I don’t know what else to do but to tell you: Straight women, I’m not interested.
I Am a Modern, Progressive Guy, and No One Crushes Toxic Masculinity More Than I
With all this talk about toxic masculinity, I want to make it clear that I’m nothing like those guys. I’m a woke, sophisticated dude, and I crush toxic masculinity with my lavender-moisturized hands.
Tips for Amusing Yourself, a “Creative” with Few Artistic Outlets, During Month 14 of Your Quarantine-Marriage
You just need to think outside the box.
An Open Letter to My Dog About His Cancelled Birthday Party
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
How to Survive a Caribbean Family When You’re the “Shy One”
Delude yourself into thinking that fat-shaming is a sign of love. They mean well?
My Next-Door Neighbor’s Nightly Argument: Betting Odds, Picks & Predictions
Odds are engineered based on information heard through the thin walls and air vents of my unit during the previous night’s argument.
A Note from the Bird Outside Your Window
Tweet tweet, motherfucker.