With all this talk about toxic masculinity, I want to make it clear that I’m nothing like those guys. I’m a woke, sophisticated dude, and I crush toxic masculinity with my lavender-moisturized hands.
Category: Personal
Tips for Amusing Yourself, a “Creative” with Few Artistic Outlets, During Month 14 of Your Quarantine-Marriage
You just need to think outside the box.
An Open Letter to My Dog About His Cancelled Birthday Party
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
How to Survive a Caribbean Family When You’re the “Shy One”
Delude yourself into thinking that fat-shaming is a sign of love. They mean well?
My Next-Door Neighbor’s Nightly Argument: Betting Odds, Picks & Predictions
Odds are engineered based on information heard through the thin walls and air vents of my unit during the previous night’s argument.
A Note from the Bird Outside Your Window
Tweet tweet, motherfucker.
Why I Didn’t Respond to Your Text
I didn’t want you to know I was still awake and checking my texts at 3 am.
Everything I’m Afraid Might Happen If I Give My Five-Year-Old Son a Bubble Gun
When I kiss my son goodnight and wish him sweet dreams, he’ll respond “Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker!”
Thoughts I Have About My Dog Every Single Day
I am keeping this thing alive! I’m a genius! I should be given some sort of humanitarian prize!
Honest Responses I Wish I Could Send to Dudes on Online Dating Sites
Is there any living, breathing human that actually ENJOYS these sites?