The rumors that we plan to slaughter every townsperson who doesn’t fit into a narrow cookie-cutter mold are simply not true. While Hollyville Falls has been accused of being as straight and white as an orthodontist’s wet dream, we have a place for ALL types, from tall, gorgeous white people to average-height, gorgeous white people—even beautiful blondes.
In a twice-mortgaged townhome’s main bedroom there was a landline
“So, why do you really hate Planned Parenthood?” I therapeutically ask Ted.
Loved our stay. Nice place. Fridge comes fully stocked. There’s a man in the walls.
How many flashlights have you lost due to the deathly wheels of a firetruck? Answer me that.
If he used to make frequent trips to your Animal Crossing Island but now your villagers are all whispering to each other that you got “ghosted harder than Wisp himself,” he’s just not that into you.
A tale of marriage, conflict, and boxed wine.