If he used to make frequent trips to your Animal Crossing Island but now your villagers are all whispering to each other that you got “ghosted harder than Wisp himself,” he’s just not that into you.
Category: Lists
Slogans For Procrastinators
Apple: Think about thinking differently.
Personalities At Your Local Greenmarket
The guy who doesn’t realize they’re just actual mushrooms
Everything I’m Afraid Might Happen If I Give My Five-Year-Old Son a Bubble Gun
When I kiss my son goodnight and wish him sweet dreams, he’ll respond “Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker!”
Ways to Prove to Your Boss You Are Worthy of Employer-Sponsored Health Insurance
The biggest mistake young professionals make is expecting their employer to treat them with dignity.
The 5 Steamiest Ways to Break up with Your Boyfriend
Use this super steamy guide to tell your man he’s not the one for you and he ruined the last five years of your life!
Classic Children’s Books Rewritten by Conservatives
Cloudy With No Chance of Climate Change
How to Select And Prepare A Winning Turkey: A Recipe From the Democratic Party Cookbook
4. Position the turkey in the center, slightly to the left.
Other Ways to Say, “I Drive for Uber”
I supply needed change to consumers who are unsatisfied with their physical location.
Four New Hobbies to Pick Up Once You Realize You Will Never Be a Twitter Sensation
Face it: your dreams of becoming a twitter sensation are dead. It’s time to find a new hobby.