Men in general are very sexy, and I like them!
The first rule of satire is: you do not talk about satire comedy.
Theater is a safe space for everyone – even you, Brad.
Come on, Odysseus. There are some things more important than the batting cages, like going home to your wife!
I put a sign on it just in case.
Grandma takes about five minutes to walk up our flight of stairs. We have decided that she should only take two minutes to make it to the top.
Why up your dosage of Lexapro when you can get a plant to distract you from your all-consuming psychological turmoil?
Meditating in a gorgeous wheat field at dawn, but it’s not dewy at all and the temperature is perfect
Do you feel your friends judging you when your Senator acts out, and you’re tired of having to explain that they were like that before you got them?
He’s weirdly obsessed with happy couples and thinks love is bullshit.