Mistakes That, In Hindsight, My Street Gang May Have Made

Even though we grew up on Peniston Lane, opting to name our gang “The Peniston Lane Boyz.”

Deciding to get gang jackets that said, “The Peniston Lane Boyz: #1 In Not Getting Stabbed!”

After getting stabbed quite a bit, adding a patch on the side of the jacket that said, “If You Have To Stab Us, At Least Don’t Do It Right Here In The Vulnerable Rib Cage Area!”

Deciding on the gang motto “You stab us, we stab you! …JK, we don’t believe in revenge stabbings!”

Thinking we could gain street cred by merging with a more intimidating gang.

Choosing to merge with a gang called “The Silly Billies.”

Despite all the stabbings, never investing in a really good first aid kit?

Trying to raise money for a first aid kit by robbing people who had just come out of the Knife Expo, underestimating how many of them would have knives on them.

Attracting the attention of some undercover police coming out of the Knife Expo.

Choosing to run from the police.

Yelling, “You pigs will never catch The Peniston Lane Boyz!” which we thought would discourage them but just seemed to make them want to catch us even more.

Running back to the hideout and turning off all the lights.

Somehow forgetting to turn off the neon “Peniston Lane Boyz” sign in the front window.

Easily being apprehended by the police because of the neon sign, and also our hideout was located on Peniston Lane.