Brenda, the Catwoman (and other Hybrid Creatures that Didn’t Make it to Hollywood)

Brenda was the original catwoman. In 1935, Bill Finger spotted her sleeping on a fencepost in Philadelphia. Astonished by her majestic hybridity and sour personality, he put her in his Batman comic. Unfortunately, she was never cast to play herself on the silver screen as Hollywood opted for fully human women wearing skin tight bodysuits over Brenda with her tufts of fur and saggy skin. 

Brenda somehow made her way to Brazil and lived there until her death in the nineties. In her later years, she was known to wear heels (even though her paws didn’t fit in them) and a turquoise jumper with a hole in the back for her bushy tail. A neighbor shared that when she couldn’t get her canned fish open, she would scratch all the upholstery in her apartment.

Antwoman doesn’t have a name since worker ants rarely do. She usually has sand in her mouth and can’t talk, but when she can, she says “crumbs”. A Hollywood producer once contacted her about starring in an action movie, but she was so shy that she hid in the sugar shaker the whole time. When the producer asked her point blank if she would take the big role, antwoman burst into tears and mumbled “crumbs,” thus ending her career before it started. 

Dexa is a wolfwoman from the Himalayas. Her hybridity is of a transitory nature and she barely has any human traits left. Here, she is being told to smile more. Just like most other wolfwomen, she will bite anyone who says this phrase.  

Prisha’s biggest fear is to dive for a tadpole only to return up to the surface to find it frozen solid. To die a murky and lonely death below the ice would be the ultimate tragedy for a duck. Luckily, she lives in Central Park and doesn’t have to fish. She’s fed by tourists who toss her breadcrumbs. When in public, she hides her human mouth behind a bugle chip to look more duck-like. Only the other birds know her secret and they’ve grown to love her despite her inferior beak.

Élodie is a mermaid who lives in the Bay of Fundy. When the tide goes out she flops to shore to seek a human man. She copulates frantically and then nibbles in his armpits for remnants of shirt fuzz. Men are charmed by her silky legs, but love her scales most of all. 

Maria is a narwoman. Her kind are referred to as the unicorn of the sea. Her cone-like overgrown tooth pierces through her upper lip and she uses it for stabbing prey. Some years ago, Maria left the ocean to follow a love affair on land. When her lover died in a terrible dental accident, she was left alone. She’s now a hermit and only leaves the apartment for her weekly shopping expeditions to refill her shrimp drawer. Upon return home, she listens to opera, swallows shrimp whole, and drinks water mixed with salt. It’s the only way she still connects to the sea. 

Half-walrus, half-woman, Sheila only applies lipstick after hunting. She knows that there’s something feminine about taking another’s life. Kind of like giving it.

Foxwoman is more animal than human. However, she still wears a bra since her nipples are very sensitive and painfully rub against the snow if not covered. Once, she bit a woman’s ankle thinking it was a snake and was almost put down by the Humane Society. She insisted it wasn’t her, even though there was blood all over her lips and teeth. In the end, they couldn’t prove anything and released her back into the forest. But, the taste of human blood is so tantalizing that on moonless nights she sneaks into the movie theater of the nearest town and bites into human feet before slipping back into the darkness. 

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