- Where are you from? No, where are you really from – Ohio?
- I really enjoy “spotted dick.” We have it every Christmas.
- Your baby’s so cute! She has so much melanin; she hardly looks Caucasian at all.
- You’re so well-read for a White person.
- Are you sure you’re Italian? You look German to me.
- It’s ok, I can use “Cracker” because my best friend is White.
- You know, I tried making tuna noodle casserole once, but it was so bland.
- I can never tell how old Caucasians are.
- Who starred in Fugitive again? Tommy Lee Jones or Jack Nicholson? You all look the same to me lol.
- “Ich bin ein Berliner!”
- My nanny growing up was White. She taught me how to cook with Mayo.
- Your son is so good at woodworking, but that’s to be expected I guess.
- Why, this potato salad isn’t tasteless at all!
- I think you have a perfectly fine work ethic.
- I’m making sauerkraut for the BBQ just for you!
- My parents would’ve voted for Reagan a third time.
- I’m so jealous of your flat hair. Can I touch it?
- Considering you’re from New England, you’re not cold or judgmental at all.
- I talked to my Bubbe and she wants you to know that she’s forgiven you for the Holocaust.
- Congrats on the promotion! Guess they were looking for someone with family connections.
- Eminem is my favorite rapper.
- You’re so nice for a “Karen.”
If White People Were Subjected to Microaggressions
