An Open Letter to The Boys Who Are Back in Town

While we understand that you just got back today, we ask politely that you please read this letter to understand the current state of things in this town. Due to the ongoing Covid-19 virus, our town has implemented a lockdown and a curfew. We know you may think that this is no big deal, but we assure you, we ourselves have learned the hard way. 

You know that chick that used to dance a lot? Well after being on the floor every night shaking what she had she quickly became anything but red hot. She contracted the virus earlier this month and is now cold as can be, in the morgue across from Johnny’s place. Due to her death and the many other cases from the crowded dance floor, the dance hall has been shut down for the remainder of the year.

Speaking of Johnny’s place, the girl that got up and slapped Johnny’s face came forward recently with the rest of the story. It appears that the slap was one of self defense. After coming forward with her accusations, Johnny admitted to two counts of sexual assault, and is now spending the remainder of the year in county lock up. Johnny’s place has now been rented out to a new tenant, and will no longer be available to the boys. 

As for Dino’s Bar and Grill, limited outside dining is available, but due to county liquor laws, no alcohol will be served. We completely understand that this is where you come for the drink to flow and the blood to spill, but we ask that you refrain for the time being. Just because the boys want to fight doesn’t mean we will let them.

We appreciate your patience and understanding with us, and we hope that you will return to town again after this visit when things are better again. 

Respectfully-

The Town