Top 10 Things To Do With An MFA in TV Writing

Hang it on the wall… and use it for dart practice.

Get a silhouette pattern and cut it up into a paper dress for your Barbie Doll that you’ve been holding onto since you were twelve.

Rip it up into tiny pieces and use it as confetti to celebrate your two-year anniversary working at a tax office.

Use it to roll FAT JOINTS BOYYY!

Burn it in a fire to keep yourself warm during a camping trip even though your friend, Jenny, was in charge of getting firewood. Classic Jenny!

Roll it up really tight and scream through it like a megaphone — you can shout, “I’m in so much debt!”

Wipe your ass.

Flip it over and write a Ten Year Goal Plan on the back. Goal number one: get a job in television.

Fold it into a small bird and put that bird in a box. And put that box in another box. Now put that box in ANOTHER box and then mail yourself the box. Forget you mailed yourself a box, and open it up while you’re tripping on shrooms.

You can use it to dry your tears when you cry about the fact that you STILL work in a tax office.