Thanks for your message, I’m out of the office through next Tuesday due to preparations for what’s left of my dream wedding. I ended up canceling the venue, uninvited my closest friends and family—even my fiancé almost didn’t make the cut because of social distancing restrictions. Don’t worry, I’ll be wearing a mask over the makeup I spent hundreds of dollars on as well. I’ll reply to your message upon my return from my honeymoon which is an RV trip across the southwest where we will argue the entire time.
Hey there, and thanks for the email. I am out of the office teaching myself 8th grade algebra because my son didn’t pay attention to his Zoom math class and has a test on Wednesday. I will have limited email access because I will be spending all my time off staring at a textbook from 1991 wondering how a top sales rep like me can’t understand the difference between x and y. I’ll respond as soon as the screaming match between us ends after calmly trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem. If you are able to offer tutoring help before then, please reach out to my son, Jared Anders, so we can help him get at least a B.
I’m currently out of the office for the day due to protesting. This is a copy and pasted out of office reply from when I was protesting last week because of a whole different issue America has. I will catch up on work after I finish up my seven paragraph post on Facebook to educate my bully from high school about human rights and why I protested in the first place. Please contact my intern if there’s anything you need and I’ll circle back with him once I post bail if it goes that way.
Thank you so much for your message! I’m unable to respond to your email because I have COVID-19. It’s the same COVID-19 causing no business travel to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to cheat on your significant other and be with your other family. Contact tracers are still examining where I could have caught the virus, but they believe it’s because our employer has made us return to the office just to type into spreadsheets everyday. I’ll return your email once I am done quarantining for 14 days, wait 7 more days for a negative test result, and then another 7 days to make sure that negative test result was accurate.
P.S. If healthy, I will be OOO for my wedding and honeymoon to fiancée Sarah at the end of the month as well.
Hello, and thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately, I am currently out of the office today due to the sudden and unexpected delivery of my Instacart order last evening. I’m grateful for my wonderful company’s flexible PTO during this time, and will be out of the office all of today wiping down each and every item because I have a crippling fear of being infected by touching the top of my green beans’ can. While our grocery delivery wasn’t expected until this weekend, life has no estimated delivery time. I appreciate all of the well wishes during this time, and will hopefully be back on Monday morning to respond to all messages if I get through all my groceries in time.
Hello, and thank you for your message. I will be away from my desk for the next two weeks because I saved up all of my PTO hoping that coronavirus would be done and finished by June. Because I am taking my time off in bulk, I will be checking my emails constantly and essentially working as normal because I wasn’t able to work two weeks ahead to be able to feel okay about taking time off. If you need immediate assistance while I’m OOO, don’t email anyone else, I’ll respond to you in about five minutes.