The child headbutting you in the stomach because their parents are embracing the Permissive style and told them to do their own thing and “meet us at the goat cheese stand at 3:00”
The Brooklynite or Seattlite, i.e. everyone
The entrepreneur who thinks sourdough is their next great investment
The year-round kale enthusiast
The parent urging their children to binge on free apple slices so they don’t have to feed them that day
The one reading a literal novel while walking into poles
The guy who doesn’t realize they’re just actual mushrooms
The one who touches all the fruit to find the perfectly ripe peach that will sit on their counter rotting for six days
That girl at work who sits seven desks over whom you’ve been promising to grab lunch with for nine months, and now you get to meet her boyfriend and put something in the books for sure
The cantaloupe sniffer
The one who asks, “Are these organic? Are you sure? What does organic mean to you?”
The stroller brigade
The woman passive-aggressively buying fresh flowers “just because” and making her boyfriend carry them
The hipster with the yard-long beard questioning the one IPA vendor about their fermenting process
The dog sniffing your butt
The out-of-towner who thinks this is nothing compared to their greenmarket at home, pfft