Personalities At Your Local Greenmarket

The child headbutting you in the stomach because their parents are embracing the Permissive style and told them to do their own thing and “meet us at the goat cheese stand at 3:00”

The Brooklynite or Seattlite, i.e. everyone

The entrepreneur who thinks sourdough is their next great investment 

The year-round kale enthusiast

The parent urging their children to binge on free apple slices so they don’t have to feed them that day

The one reading a literal novel while walking into poles 

The guy who doesn’t realize they’re just actual mushrooms

The one who touches all the fruit to find the perfectly ripe peach that will sit on their counter rotting for six days

That girl at work who sits seven desks over whom you’ve been promising to grab lunch with for nine months, and now you get to meet her boyfriend and put something in the books for sure

The cantaloupe sniffer

The one who asks, “Are these organic? Are you sure? What does organic mean to you?”

The stroller brigade

The woman passive-aggressively buying fresh flowers “just because” and making her boyfriend carry them

The hipster with the yard-long beard questioning the one IPA vendor about their fermenting process

The dog sniffing your butt

The out-of-towner who thinks this is nothing compared to their greenmarket at home, pfft