New Twilight Book To Be Narrated by Someone Way Too Proud They Haven’t Read Twilight

Following the success of her auto-fanfiction Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer announced today that readers will get yet another perspective on the timeless love triangle between Edward, Bella, and Googling “is stalking kind of hot?” 

Written from the point-of-view of Dan, a guy from your Intro to Creative Writing class whose disinterest in Twilight has absolutely no effect whatsoever on its sales or cultural impact, but you wouldn’t know that from the way he talks about it, Is That The Vampire One? will follow one man’s brave quest to let you know that he doesn’t really pay attention to pop culture. 

An anonymous publishing industry professional commented, “This book will kill in the ‘Who the f*ck is Augustus Waters?’ demographic.” One literary agent offered a slightly more cynical view: “The question is, will Stephenie Meyer be able to embody the voice of someone who doesn’t give a shit about Stephenie Meyer?” 

We are excited to debut an exclusive excerpt from the upcoming novel. 

Edward leaned towards Bella, his eyes glowing with desire — or was it hunger? I wouldn’t know, I haven’t read these books. More of a George R. R. Martin guy, myself. I appreciate a darker, grittier approach to fantasy storytelling. I haven’t read Harry Potter, either. Or The Hunger Games. A Hufflepuff could hit me right in the District 12 and I wouldn’t even notice. 

That’s actually my Hinge profile. Pretty good, right? I used to link to my virtual chapbook, but my analytics showed that I wasn’t getting any hits, so now I just print and bind copies to bring on dates. 

But seriously, isn’t there some Nabokov nearby I could sink my teeth into? Or fangs, I guess. Ha, ha. How droll. 

Tentative cover art features two pale hands holding a question mark. 

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