I’m sure they’re really very nice people when they’re not “in character.” And, that’s not to say that there’s anything “wrong” with being “in character.” I didn’t say that, Chantal…
It’s just that I feel like once the show is over for the night, maybe they could readjust their voices to an appropriate volume? I mean, they’re not on stage anymore; they don’t need to project and articulate quite so much…
Yes, their production of Into The Woods was electric. Absolutely. Yeah, Travis was superb as Prince Charming…superb…
Chantal, all I’m saying is that maybe when they all cluster together in the lobby after the show, they can tone things down just a little bit? I mean, I’m sure it can be a difficult thing to just switch off. I get it. It’s the same with me and the boys when we’ve just totally crushed ass in Ultimate. I get it. But maybe they went a bit too far when they pretended that your little cousin was a beach ball? Yeah, I know it was just a theatre game, but Luke is only seven years old. He didn’t understand. That kind of thing can turn a kid off of Broadway show tunes forever. Trust me…
And their grandparents—do they know? I mean, really know what their grandchildren get up to off-stage? They made up at least 80 percent of the audience tonight, and you know how old people can be. They’re from a different time. A more reserved time. And maybe that level of reckless gregariousness can be confusing to someone of their generation. Just a thought…
Yes, Chantal, I went to a public school renowned for its Performing Arts program, and no, I didn’t partake of it myself. That doesn’t mean I’m prejudiced, okay. Why would I care if Justin Geraldo and Stephanie Van Fleet always snagged the best roles—I wasn’t a Theatre Kid, okay! Again, not that there’s anything wrong with being a Theatre Kid…
It’s just that maybe some people feel like they’re being put on the spot a little bit when a gaggle of cheerful, over-acting, inside joke-spouting serial extroverts prance into an otherwise tranquil public space, talking at a full three registers above the appropriate level and singing their favourite Les Mis numbers. Their collective overconfidence threatens to suck all that is calm and comforting from the room, and anyone not on their level of exhausted excitement is fodder for passive-aggressive humiliation disguised as lighthearted banter!
Okay?!…
I’ve seen this happen to too many loved ones. Too many have suffered needlessly at the hands of these over-caffeinated monsters! Too many relaxing evenings have been needlessly sullied by pointless buoyancy! Too many timid armpits have been cruelly soaked by the crushing waves of pointed good cheer! Well, no more, I say! No more! Not if I can help it! OH, THE LACK OF HUMANITY! GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Chantal, I am not jealous of Theatre Kids…
How do I know to say theatre, and not theater? Oh, you know…I grew up in Canada…We speak the Queen’s English there…We love Queens. Yaaasss Queeeen!…
Okay?
I mean, I pity them, if anything. None of them will ever be in Hamilton. So what’s the point in even trying? It’s pathetic…No one wants to accept this kind of behaviour unless it’s costing them $150. At least 150…
That’s what my dad says, anyway.