Dear Mrs. Rowling, We Regret to Inform You That You’ve Been Banned from the Wizarding World

Dear Mrs. Rowling: 

We regret to inform you that you’ve been banned from the Wizarding World, based on a unanimous vote by the Ministry of Magic, Magical Congress of the USA, and the Wizarding World public.  This dismissal comes after your public association with the new dark society known as the “Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists.”  As odd as it is to disassociate with our Creator, we thank you, but believe it is all for the best.

We went along with your unnecessary world expansion in “The Cursed Child” and the “Fantastic Beasts” series (which neither we nor the Americans want as canon).  We said it was an accident you didn’t give one person of color any character development, and instead made them caricatures.  We even stayed silent when you created the bankers as Goblins – a similar racist depiction of Jewish Muggles from the Death Eaters of your world known as Nazi’s.  At this point, you’re dragging our world into your problems.

Even your main allies, Mr. Harry Potter and Mr. Newt Scamander, disagree with your views.  It’s a bad image.  

In response to your comments, our world will have gender/species neutral bathrooms, and more BIPOC/LGBTQIA+/Werewolf faculty join all Wizarding Schools next semester, especially at your favorite – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  Headmistress Minerva McGonagall currently has staff creating courses that expand the history and importance of these groups, and all the funding will come from your old friend, Mr. Draco Malfoy, and all shops from Diagon Alley.

The Department of Magical Transportation has changed all locations, codes, and port keys that grant access from the Muggle World into ours.  To ensure you cannot find us, I and current 7th Year Ravenclaw’s made a Disillusionment Charm that even a very skilled Wizard or Witch couldn’t break, let alone a “Muggle God.”

As you take time to reflect, please do not write another 3,700-word essay on how you think people who change their gender identities do so to escape problems in womanhood.  Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you speak for all womankind.

Albus Dumbledore once said, “Don’t pity the dead.  Pity the living.  And about all, those who live without love.”  As someone who created a world with a philosophy on the power of Love and Friendship, I wonder what he would think if he were alive to hear your comments today?

Yours sincerely,

Hermione Granger
Minister for Magic