When your alarm goes off in the morning, how do you respond?
A.) You don’t need a physical alarm, you wake up to the dulcet tones of your internal clock, a.k.a the rhythmic beats of your precious heart urging you towards a new day!
B.) You’re worried. You don’t know why you’re worried, but you’re worried.
C.) No time to respond. Levitating.
Where do you go for “me time”?
A.) Wherever you go, there you are
B.) Anywhere that can distract you from your thoughts
C.) You love hanging out on the ceiling, camouflaged enough to hide in plain sight but visible enough to make people go “ga-ga-ga-ghoooost!”
Your attention is usually focused in:
A.) The abundant present, of course!
B.) The completely fabricated worst case scenarios of the imaginary future
C.) What you can do to the soulless body you’ve inhabited
When that inner voice speaks, it sounds like:
A.) A gentle, patient, assuring whisper
B.) An urgent, shaky, foreboding whimper
C.) A salivic, frothy monster voice you’ve manipulated through the shredded, bloody vocal chords of your human sacrifice
You can’t sleep at night because:
A.) You are peacefully meditating on your growing “list of gratitudes”
B.) You are frantically worrying about your growing “list of irrational fears”
C.) You keep spinning the head of your human puppet around the axis of its broken spine
Your decision-making process is like:
A.) A gentle, organic inkling, followed by organically reaching for an organic choice
B.) Making you exhausted
C.) One time, you decided to fold your hosts’ torso backwards at a perfect 90 degree angle, run backwards with the trajectory of a tornado, haphazardly grabbing the internal organs of everyone in your path
How do you feel, usually?
A.) Expansive, calm, patient, a connection to the present
B.) You prefer to avoid that question
C.) However you feel, it’s expressed through demonic gibberish followed by inducing an unending stream of projectile vomit out of the lifeless skin suit from which you’ve depleted all resources
When you are about to try something new, you:
A.) Take a deep, nourishing breath and welcome the gifts of an uncharted path
B.) Panic. Then try to breathe. Then panic again.
C.) You mutter obscenities too sinful for this world, then pierce your forked-reptile-tongue through each ocular cavity of your borrowed corpse
Do you have a mantra for difficult moments?
A.) Just do your best, one moment at a time
B.) Crying is a mantra, right?
C.) Parce mihi et ego vobis exitum vestrum
Would you say you’re comfortable in your body?
A.) Absolutely. I have a very compassionate mind-body connection.
C.) If masturbating with a cross is “comfortable”, then, yes.
The power of Christ compels you?
C.) @@##**&@@ @@@($*$%%*&&*!!*********(!!!(* FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! @@##**&@@ @@@($*$%%*&&*!! @@#$$@&!
You answered mostly As: You are a compassionate being of earth, guided gracefully & willfully by the wisdom of your intuition.
You answered mostly Bs: You’re a human being.
You answered mostly Cs: You are Bathalasus Frooshoo from the 7th layer of hell. Be gone, unholy spirit!! …Unless you can make me all-powerful, because that might be cool?