weeknight – at least 60 minutes but could come in at 3 hours
family-friendly – bland and uninteresting
old family recipe – I don’t know, maybe Velveeta and like, cranberries but definitely, WOOF
holiday – definitely cranberries
Greek – has feta
Texas, or Tex-mex – has cheese, barbeque sauce, ranch and Dr Pepper
slow-cooker – one big mushy texture and one big mushy flavor
minimalist – five ingredients from five different stores, cooked separately
retro – enough gelatin for one lifetime, thank you very much
sheet pan – raw on the inside, burnt to a crisp on the outside, spilled onto the bottom of the oven and burnt there
French – fourteen really expensive ingredients, one of which is red wine
clean – who knows
secret ingredient – Sprite. Every time. It is always Sprite.
crowd-pleasing – everyone will ask you what the hell that was and what it was doing at Suzie’s baby shower, especially considering all she’s been through lately with the grand jury indictment
kids love it – bland and uninteresting
husband loves it – bland and uninteresting, but has bacon
worth it – takes 72 hours, four pieces of equipment, a government license and connections in the airline industry to make and not quite as good as a Triscuit