Mental Places to Travel When You Forget to Take Your Phone to the Bathroom

Times are tough. You forgot to take your phone to the bathroom. Again? At this point, you’ve read every ingredient on the shampoo and conditioner labels. You’re keenly aware that the Charmin toilet paper is 2-ply sheets per roll, irresistibly soft, and “irresistiblement doux.” Your only friend is the depressed clownfish on the Softsoap dispenser. 

That’s why you need to pack up and take a mental vacation elsewhere! 

Never again get stuck on the pot with these mental travel destinations for any time you forget your phone on the charger.

Beach Town with the Salt Water Taffy Shop next to Childhood Condo
Fort Lauderdale, Florida (2002)

When you think about it, you really don’t like salt water taffy. But you remember liking it when the nice sunburned local baglady would give it to you when you were visiting the childhood condo in Florida. 

When Your Entire Bar Tab Was Covered by A System Error
Los Angeles, CA (2013)

You asked, Sorry, what was the total? The dude who was training that day just shrugged and explained being charged $7 for ten shots was a “System Error.”

Pacha’s Home on the Hilltop from The Emperor’s New Groove
Inca-Era Peru (1438)

That house was in Pacha’s family for six generations which is basically as long as the Inca empire existed. But the sun? When the sun hit the ridge of that hill just right, those hills sang

A Middle School Dance
Columbus, Ohio (2008)

The principle is throwing out Malibu-spiked Monster energy drinks. Veronica is crying because Chase doesn’t want to dance with her. A couple is pawing at each other under the bleachers as Usher’s “Yeah!” plays and Lil Jon encourages us all. 

That One Time The Hotel Pool Was Deserted
Las Vegas, Nevada (2019)

Where did everyone go? you pondered in the pool while sipping a daiquiri at 10 am on Sunday of your vacation. 

The Greek Coastal City In Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants That You’ve Always Wanted to Visit
Santorini, Greece (Pending)

You’ve been dying to go ever since you saw Lena get swooped up in a sultry romance that Summer those girls exchanged that magical pair of pants. Someday. 

The Resort Bar with the Calamari in DELICIOUS Red Sauce
Miami, FL (2016)

Yeah, you were in Miami. Yeah, you had a great time at the beach. But what you remember the most was receiving a meal voucher for the resort’s restaurant and ordering the calamari in that really amazing red sauce. Like, the calamari was good but that sauce. What was in that stuff?

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