It’s Friday, so it’s time for a round-up of some of our favorite tweets from our followers this week!
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Nobody:
— Abby 🌸🌟✨🎀💜🙃🦄 (@1AbbyRoad) September 4, 2019
Woman in her thirties to random female acquaintance: Hey mama!!!
"I know you can't afford therapy, so here's a link to 50 sunset quotes" pic.twitter.com/YP3m2FVxuM
— Megan Schwartz (@Deviled_Meggs) September 4, 2019
Today I dried my hair with the backseat window of a lyft, in case you're wondering how glamorous my life is
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) September 4, 2019
Scene 1:*invites friends to my shows*
— Jackie Benhayon (@jackiebenhayon) September 3, 2019
Scene 2:*friends don’t show*
Scene 3: Friends-“you gotta tell me when your next show is I wanna see you!!!!”
Watch scenes 1-3 for two and half years
This is what stand up is pic.twitter.com/bodXsnxEep
I could do Stella Adler, but Marlon Brando couldn't do my friend's podcast.
— Jordan Myrick (@jordanmyr1ck) September 5, 2019
Trump used his old "make my F look like an A" sharpie trick on a weather map.
— kamehameHAHA (@AmeerahSanders) September 5, 2019
Millennials don’t smoke anymore except when a new Lana Del Rey album drops
— Meryl Williams (@MerylWilliams) August 31, 2019
I may not know exactly what I’m looking for in a relationship, but I know for damn sure I wont ever date someone who’s favorite show is Ballers
— Courtney O'Donnell (@thisiscourtnay) September 2, 2019
Kris Jenner: North, who’s your favorite rapper?
— Luisa Lange (@Luisa_Lange) September 4, 2019
North: Kanye West is my dad!
Me at the TV: Answer the fucking question, North.