I was with Jen the day she met Connor and I’m so happy to be here with you all today, celebrating their wedding.
A year ago, Jen and I were at our regular coffee shop when Connor backed into us. He wasn’t paying attention because he was yelling into his phone about the financial crimes his firm’s committed. You know how Connor gets when he’s on the phone.
Of course, once he hung up, he came over to apologize to Jen. Jen was going on about the serious article she was going to write one day instead of the fluff lifestyle articles that paid for her weekly manis, killer wardrobe and penthouse suite. That’s when Connor interrupted.
“I could be a source for a serious article,” he said.
Jen was so annoyed with Connor’s brashness. Can you believe that, y’all? She started off not liking the guy she ended up marrying!
At the pitch meeting that day, our editor Kelsey, the woman drinking the enormous glass of rosé over there, approved Jen going undercover at Connor’s firm to uncover financial misdeeds. This was Jen’s chance to write an important story. It was a huge opportunity for her career and she ended up discovering something you’ll never find with shoe-leather reporting and a strong understanding of open record laws. She found true love.
Jen discovered that Connor’s company was laundering thousands of dollars that the state was funneling to the firm. They were totally ripping off taxpayers and this went all the way to the top!
Jen stopped flirting with Connor immediately. But then he made the big gestures. He ran across town because he needed to be with her IMMEDIATELY. He held the boombox under her window. He gained a poetic vocabulary and made an intimate, romantic speech, before reverting back to corporate-bro speak. And how could Jen say no to a big gesture?
Sorry, I knew I was going to cry while giving this toast. It’s such a beautiful story and I’m so happy my friend found true love while undercover as a journalist.
I’ve been going on and on about my best friend, who is so wonderful, and now I need to give it up for this guy. Connor, you saw Jen’s true beauty, even when she was in that shapeless trench coat that all journalists are required to wear.
Jen and I have been journalists in rom coms for five years and I’ve never been happier for her than I am today.
It’s part of our ethical obligation as journalists to always wear trench coats and carry coffee. Also, to do no harm. And something about boundaries with sources. The list is long and there’s so much news breaking in rom com journalism, it’s hard to keep up.
Anyway, cheers to the happy couple. I wish you a lifetime of happiness.