It’s Friday, so it’s time for a round-up of some of our favorite tweets from our followers this week!
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My hair stylist: Did you watch the VMAs?
— Juliana Gray (@JGray_Writer) August 29, 2019
Me: No.
HS: NO? None of it?
Me: No, not really my thing.
HS, brandishing scissors close to my jugular: You didn't watch ANY of it???
Me: um, I saw a clip of Lizzo
HS, backing off: That's what I fucking thought.
A fun thing about me doing admin work is that while filling out an expense report I scream the whole time
— laurie b.dufrane (@officesubmarine) August 29, 2019
If Mr. Krabs is so greedy, why did he go into restaurants, an industry famous for razor thin profit margins?
— Johnathan Appel (@johnathanappel) August 28, 2019
The thrill I get when I press a higher button than someone else in an elevator borders on psychopathic.
— Libby Marshall (@LibraryMarshall) August 26, 2019
I’ve been in Kentucky for four days & have fully acclimated to calling my wife my “friend.”
— Amy (@amysgotjokes) August 25, 2019
white people deciding how to write my name in emails, announcements, legal paperwork, etc: pic.twitter.com/FfDEvAGT44
— bb queen (@ngocbbui) August 28, 2019
I was looking up a make-up artist and read one review where a client complained that she "kept cussin' in front of the family" and that "she ATE all the SNACKS" and I immediately texted her. That's the make-up artist I wanna work with 👏
— Tiffany Aleman (@FakeTiffanyAle) August 28, 2019
Five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I don’t need to impress the woman who works at buffalo exchange I don’t need to impress the woman who works at buffalo exchange I don’t need to impress the woman who works at buffalo exchange I don’t need to impress the woman who works at buffalo exchange I don’t need to impress
— Hannah Solow (@hamstertalk) August 28, 2019
The only middle school couple I will entertain the thought of still being together in their 30s is Mary Anne and Logan from the BABY-SITTERS CLUB.
— Emmy Potter 🌲🌎 (@emmylanepotter) August 26, 2019
this comment for my uber driver sounds like it was written by his girlfriend after a fight even though she didn't do anything wrong pic.twitter.com/QYvvrGI2Sy
— D. Arthur (@BabyDMarie) August 27, 2019