All the Gay Things I Did Before I Realized I Was Gay

I stared at the cover-art for the Pussycat Dolls album PCD for five minutes straight because I just really liked their “outfits.”

I cut my nails really short. 

I jokingly sexted my best friend and when she asked me about it the next day, I laughed it off and said, “Wasn’t that so funny?”

I wore Converse shoes.

After watching the movie Cruel Intentions, I found the clip of Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar kissing on YouTube and watched it on repeat.

I helped my father install crown-molding in our dining room. 

I saved photos of famous actresses on my iPod Touch–just so I could look at them later.

Growing up, I used to play “house” with a girl from my day-care and we’d always pretend to be married and put our hands on our mouths before kissing. 

I once asked, “Is it gay to wanna kiss girls?”

I got jealous when my best friend got a boyfriend but I still encouraged her to tell me all the gory details of their relationship. 

I got really excited when the only openly bisexual girl in my middle school wanted to be my friend.

When a friend in high school said, “I don’t understand what’s so hot about two women kissing” I went on a five minute rant trying to explain it to her and ended it by saying, “but… it’s not for me, though.” 

I got a crush on every single boy who was even remotely nice to me and when they liked me back, I stopped talking to them altogether.

I joked that I could write a “steamy, romance novel” and then somehow ended up sexting ANOTHER girl friend of mine under the guise of literary research.

I cried when a boy asked me out on a date.

When my mom asked if I wanted to grow up and marry someone like my father, I said “What? LOL I’m a lesbian.” 

I loved the song All The Things She Said and listened to it on a loop.

Whenever I watched straight couples kiss in movies, I only stared at the women. 

I masturbated to lesbian porn.

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