Oh gosh. Has it really come to this? Last night you had a weird dream about that girl Katie in your math class. There was a little bit of kissing involved. But that doesn’t mean anything right? Dreams are always wild and crazy. Haha. Well, to be honest, it might be time to google an “Am I gay?” online quiz. The only problem is that your mom doesn’t let you close the door to your room, so someone could walk in at any minute and see what you are looking at on your laptop! Here are five tabs that you can quickly switch to as you take an “Am I gay?” online quiz.
- An Episode of “Friends”: Straight people love watching “Friends” on Netflix. And you do too, because you’re straight, right? As soon as you hear footsteps on the stairs you can switch to this Netflix tab. Oh hey Dad! I’m not taking an “Am I Gay?” Online quiz or anything. No no, I’m just rewatching “The One with the Dozen Lasagnas”. Haha, this is so funny! It’s so crazy that Carol is leaving Ross for another woman……
- A Buzzfeed Quiz about which Sesame Street Character you are: Your brother is walking down the hall, quick, switch the tab! Oh hello Jonathan! It might look like I’m taking a quiz right now….because I am! I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out which Sesame Street character I am, haha. Oh….the results say that I’m a combination of Bert and Ernie. That doesn’t mean anything right?
- A Shawn Mendes Youtube video: Wow, Shawn Mendes. That is a guy that I am attracted to. Men in general are very sexy, and I like them! Wayyyyyyyyyyy more than I like Camila Cabello in this Youtube video. What can I say, I’m just a regular teenage girl with a crush on a male celebrity! And not a crush on Katie from math class!
- Your AP U.S History Homework: Is that your Mom walking down the hall? Switch the tab to your AP U.S. History reading and all she will see is her studious daughter, working on her homework. Who has time for a boyfriend when you’re this focused on your academic pursuits? Homework comes first, boys come……..maybe never. That’s just a sacrifice you’ll have to make as a future member of Congress!
- Lesbian porn: You’re almost done with the quiz, and the results seem to be pointing towards a…….. particular direction. The only thing that you dread more than your family knowing that you are gay is your family knowing that you just now realized that you are gay. Open up a tab of lesbian porn as you finish the final questions of the quiz so that if anyone walks in you can quickly switch to it and they will think that you are a confident, queer woman who knows who she is and doesn’t have to take online quizzes to finally face the truth!