I’m Hosting Parties at my House Again, Here is What’s Off Limits

My Strawberry Banana Yoplait Yogurt 

I put a sign in the fridge but in case you miss it, don’t touch my yogurt on the top shelf. If you get a craving for some dairy, there’s plenty of eggnog with top shelf whiskey so just help yourself. 

My Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale 

I put a sign in the fridge but in case you miss it, don’t touch my liter of diet Canada Dry on the bottom shelf. It’s technically a medical necessity as I have bowel issues after dinner. If you need to quench your thirst, there are some wine coolers leftover from Thanksgiving, just help yourself. 

The Brightness on My Roku Television 

This happened last year on the third weekend of April and I’m not sure how. I have a password on my settings menu which has a three percent chance at being guessed correctly. After you enter the password, you then have to go to the advanced settings because I manually moved the brightness into the section. Whoever accessed the brightness will be back tonight and I’ll be watching like a hawk so please don’t even touch the remote unless it’s an absolute must. 

My Computer Chair Height 

Pretty self-explanatory but I have plenty a recliner, sofa, and foldable chairs that are way better options. I put a sign on the chair but just in case you don’t see it, just sit on it if you must use it and don’t adjust. 

My Top Floor Hallway Closet 

This is where I’ll spend most of my time. There’s plenty of space in my whole house so I’m not sure why you would even want to be in here. I’m wearing a sign just in case but just leave your jacket on my bed or my downstairs mudroom closet if you must. 

Having a Bad Time in My House 

Don’t come if you’re not going to have fun. I put a lot of my time and effort into this and I get nothing out of it. Bring a smile and good attitude and we won’t have any problems. I put a sign on the email I sent you, it’s a PNG image file so you may have to open it in MS Paint and zoom in.