What I Can Only Imagine Middle Schoolers Write in Each Other’s Yearbooks Now

Hey Ryan!
Thanks for making 7th grade so special! Anyway, sorry to make everything about work, but I’m pitching a scripted-reality concept (dig-streaming, maybe live) and we need some fresh faces (10K+ on IG). We prefer regular hot like you but also will take Post Malone hot like your brother. Do you know if you’re diverse yet?
Yes / No / Still unsure about if diverse
Talk soon!
Ginger S.

RYANNNNNN. I can’t believe college is only 72 months away. It feels like just yesterday we were doing trigonomic substitution, implicit differentiation, and multivariable partial derivatives (or should I say DICK-rivatives. SORRY, YOU KNOW I HAD TO). Anyway, did your parents buy college yet? My mom knows a coach who buys Yale.
Yes on Yale / No on Yale / Yes on Yale, but only as backup
Best best,
Clove H.

HELLO, BESTIE! We must never forget Mr. You-Know-Who’s you-know-what! Haha. But we also must never forget to vote. Voting matters, so it’s important to rock it. P.S. Do you like AOC?
Yes / No / Only when she does Drag Race stuff
Have a kick ass summer!
Oat M.

Dear Ryan,
The memories we’ve created this year are worth more than Mr. Sawyer’s
Litecoin! Anyway thank you for helping me out this year with private equity and soccer. You’re an awesome friend, and we’re going to kill this Goldman internship. You gonna wear school clothes or regular clothes?
School clothes / Regular clothes / No clothes nakey nakey LMAO
With regards,
Nutmeg P.

Ryan! My sweet, sweet Ryan. We’ve been through so much together — from locker mates to protest-day mates (Global Climate Strike, not Uber Driver Strike because LOL WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT AFTER AT JEN’S WAS CERTAINLY A CHOICE). Anyway, I’m making a brand. Do you want to be on marketing or growth?
Marketing / Growth / Need to see pitch deck first
Let me know!
Tumeric A.

RECESS RYANNNN! From the moment we first played tetherball, I knew your Pisces sun would become a lifelong complement to my Cancer moon. P.S. Do you like Clove? I know he’s not hot but his energy is.
Cardamom Z.

RY-GUY. Love everything about you. Let’s grab drinks in Aug — June is tough. Really want to know what you’re up to. Also, which lifestyle are you going to do?
Full-time / Freelance / Podcasts
See you at screenwriting!
Ghee F.

Dear Ryan,
NEVER CHANGE! But also open yourself up to learning more because change takes time. And the more we are our true selves, the more we are able to not be our untrue selves. It’s like I always say, Michelle Obama became First Lady, not the other way around. She didn’t make the varsity basketball team on her first try. Also, do you like Kyler?
Y / N / Which Kyler?
Sumac K.

Hi Ryan. My mom said I can’t write anything in yearbooks anymore because it will jeopardize my future.
Apple Cider Vinegar R.