Oh no! We’re sorry to hear that you’re thinking of breaking up with us after just 30 days. We value you as a potential long-term partner and would love to keep you around. But of course we won’t stop you from leaving, if that’s what you really want.
While you’re under no obligation to stay, could you just take a moment to let us know why you’re leaving? Please select from the following options:
We don’t watch enough of the same shows.
Have you considered watching more TV with us? We gradually tailor our recommendations based on your selections. If you stick around, you’ll start to notice us adapting to your tastes!
I never signed up for a relationship in the first place.
Oh, totally! Us neither. And we offer a variety of packages that don’t come with “labels,” if that’s what you’re looking for: Friends With Benefits, Still Seeing Each Other, and My Current Situation, each of which has premium add-ons — e.g. hand-holding in public, +1 at your friend’s wedding — that can make it feel customized just for you.
I just need some time and space to think.
No problemo! You can put our relationship on hold for up to twelve weeks if you think you just need some space, or you’re going on vacation and need your freedom, or your Jewish parents are coming to town and you need to pretend you’re seeing that doctor guy.
I just don’t have those feelings for you anymore.
Thanks for your honesty. Are you sure you’ve fully explored all that we have to offer? We recently signed up for a baking class, and we’re training ourselves not to make that little wheeze during sex you find so annoying.
And as a person who’s become extremely important to us over the past 30 days, we’re willing to offer you another whole month FREE of commitment! We’ll never ask you to define the relationship, meet our parents, or get a dog (which was a joke, by the way).
If after all that, you’d still like to cancel what we have, feel free to click the button below.
But realize that as soon as you do, you’ll immediately lose access to our streaming subscriptions, inside jokes, cuddling privileges and the right to drunk-text us after midnight. Are you SURE you want to do this?
Okay. We understand. The relationship has been cancelled. We hope you’ll be back soon!
On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend us to one of your friends?