It’s August and There is Still Gay Activity?

I have always thought the gays were a special colony of cicadas. But, instead of every 13 years, they emerge annually in June to answer the irresistible call of corporations posting things like “Love is Love” and “Yasss Queen.” 

This would explain why brands and corporations paint rainbows everywhere during June: there’s a limited window to reach the gays before they migrate back underground for the rest of the year. Everything has to be done quickly, or else brands will have to wait until next year to profit off them. 

Imagine my amusement when I saw a rainbow flag outside of a small bar. I chuckled to myself thinking, “How embarrassing! The gays are long gone and that place has forgotten to take down their flag.” 

At first, I thought it was just an oversight. Or perhaps the business didn’t have a tall enough ladder to get the flag down. Maybe it’s like Christmas lights that they keep it up year-round so they don’t have to put it up again? Anyway, I think the staff took it the wrong way when I brought it up. Kind of ridiculous that they would have a gay flag outside their bar but not understand the migration patterns of the gays. 

Soon after, I came across two women kissing. Color me shocked! I thought if they stayed out past June, they’d evaporate? Why wasn’t this pair following the typical migration pattern? I think they took it the wrong way when I asked. Kind of ridiculous to be a gay and not understand the migration patterns of your own kind. 

After a few more signs of gay activity, there can only be one possible explanation. It seems that some of the gays have evolved past their colony and can stay out past June. 

Truthfully, I worry about their ability to withstand above-ground conditions. But I look forward to studying these highly evolved gays all year round.