Our favorite tweets from our followers this week.
Funny-ish.com
Because comedy is weird.
Of Course I, Your Macy’s Cashier, Will Pass Along Your Thoughts On This Coat To Michael Kors
As soon as you leave Macy’s store #4,679, I’m going to pick up the red telephone at the register that exists only as a direct line to Michael Kors and let him know your notes on his designs.
Exciting News! Your Position Has Just Been Eliminated, You Lucky Duck!
You’re never too old to learn a new skill, like how to compete for a few low-paying jobs in a market flooded with your now-former coworkers.
Blatantly Honest Train Delay Announcements
Howdy train denizens! We’re going to be stopped here for a while because our train is super on fire.
A Sexual Misconduct Reporting Process That’ll Help Get Us Out of the Office on Time
I want to be informed of any questionable behavior, even if I have to read about it in my golf cart between holes.
Tweet Round-Up: 9/6/19
Our favorite tweets from our followers this week.
Fine Dining Menu: CACOPHONY
We want your dining experience to be elegant and tasteful, like being pushed down a flight of rusty metal steps while trapped inside an industrial-design sarcophagus.
Honest Responses I Wish I Could Send to Dudes on Online Dating Sites
Is there any living, breathing human that actually ENJOYS these sites?
Health Advisory for Those Bitten by the Acting Bug
The CDC estimates that up to ten thousand are infected annually at drama camps alone.