A classic quandry.
An Open Letter to My Dog About His Cancelled Birthday Party
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
9 Things You’ll Never Read on a Food Blog
NOTE: Prep times don’t account for your incompetent knife skills or your real-life interruptions.
If Sia Can Write Music and Get Nominated for Two Golden Globes, Why Can’t I Write Hope, a Blatant Rip-Off Done WAY Better?
If an overconfident pop star’s obsessive focus on a teenage girl can produce a Golden Globe-nominated vehicle, then who’s to say I can’t do the same?
I’m Jergens Ultra Healing Lotion, Dying to Be Squeezed
It’s hard out here for a lotion bottle.
We Cannot Allow Solar Panels in This Country Because Children Might Eat Them
Think about it. Have you ever seen a kid try to eat an oil rig?
20 Things Better Than My First Time Drinking
12. The first 14 seconds of a shower…before the thoughts start happening.
Guided Meditation for When You Have a Poltergeist
Time your breathing with the completely normal flickering of your ceiling fan light. Gently forget that you don’t have a ceiling fan.
Time-Traveling Baby Killers
Around these corridors we’ve got a saying, and I want you all to repeat after me: It Is ALWAYS Better To Kill Baby Hitler.
If White People Were Subjected to Microaggressions
Where are you from? No, where are you *really* from – Ohio?