A classic quandry.
I know you are missing all your friends like Taco, Sasha Fierce, and Fluffy, but it’s just not safe right now, okay?
NOTE: Prep times don’t account for your incompetent knife skills or your real-life interruptions.
If an overconfident pop star’s obsessive focus on a teenage girl can produce a Golden Globe-nominated vehicle, then who’s to say I can’t do the same?
It’s hard out here for a lotion bottle.
Think about it. Have you ever seen a kid try to eat an oil rig?
12. The first 14 seconds of a shower…before the thoughts start happening.
Time your breathing with the completely normal flickering of your ceiling fan light. Gently forget that you don’t have a ceiling fan.
Around these corridors we’ve got a saying, and I want you all to repeat after me: It Is ALWAYS Better To Kill Baby Hitler.
Where are you from? No, where are you *really* from – Ohio?